


Boring

by JoMouse



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Doctor Zayn Malik, Don't copy to another site, Drunk Liam Payne, First Meetings, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27234790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoMouse/pseuds/JoMouse
Summary: Zayn comes home from a long night of trick-or-treating with his son just in time to see a drunken man dive face=first into a pile of leaves in his yard.
Relationships: Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 26
Kudos: 93
Collections: Ziam Halloween Challenge





	Boring

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [JoMouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoMouse/pseuds/JoMouse) in the [Ziam2020HalloweenExchange](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Ziam2020HalloweenExchange) collection. 



> Greetings and Salutations!
> 
> Halloween is one of my favourite holidays, so it was a big thrill for me to sign up for this challenge. Then I sat down to write and completely blanked. LOL. So, I went in search of writing prompts and found [this website](https://olicitytropes.tumblr.com/post/629357612603981824/holiday-tropes-halloween-prompts-edition-happy) and these prompts:
> 
>   * Person A is drunk and decides to jump in a pile of leaves on their neighbor’s lawn. Person B is the neighbor and they do not appreciate it. 
>   * “You’d be a lot more intimidating if you weren’t dressed like that.”
> 

> 
> Then I started writing and this is what I came up with, so I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Big thanks to [Marie](HTTP://quietzap.tumblr.com) and Jenn for betaing and cheerleading me through all of this. I would be nothing without you both.
> 
> xx-Joey
> 
> Don't know 'em. Don't own 'em. Don't show 'em.

The sky was dark as Zayn made his way back up his walk, struggling to keep hold of his son’s hand while dressed in an inflatable T-Rex costume. His son had picked it out to go with his own costume based on Chris Pratt’s character in  _ Jurassic World _ , but he was regretting it now that the night was ending and it would be easier to pick his son up and carry him instead of pulling him along when all he wanted to do was lay down on the pavement and take a nap right there. 

He was exhausted from a crazy week at the hospital but he always made time for his son when he was staying with him. Outside of work and his time with his son, his life was pretty boring so he tried to never complain when it was even a little bit exhausting. Exhausting was better than boring as far as he was concerned.

He finally managed to get the boy onto the porch and was trying to unlock the door when he heard a noise behind them. Moving Rizu behind him, he turned around, relieved that the motion sensor lights had come on, lighting up the front garden. He traced his eyes around, trying to find the source of the noise while his son attempted to knock on the front door calling for someone to let him inside.

There was movement near the gate and then a shout of, “Bonzai!” before a form dove into the pile of leaves Zayn had spent all afternoon raking up. Once the leaves settled, Zayn heard a muffled, “Ow,” from the pile and his instincts kicked into gear. Unlocking the door, he sent Rizu inside and told him to go find Daddii to get him ready for bed; his mum was staying with them for a couple of weeks while Zayn’s father was out of town and had stayed at the house to pass out candy while Zayn had taken his son around to the other houses.

Once he was safely inside, Zayn hurried across the yard as quickly as the costume would allow and leaned over the figure lying face down in the decimated pile of leaves. It was hard to tell whether the person was male or female but based on the size, Zayn went out on a limb and called out, “Sir? Are you alive?”

There was a groan and the person managed to push themselves over onto their back and Zayn’s eyes widened at the blood on his face. “Fuck, you bellend,” he said, attempting to lean down to check on the guy but the damn costume made it too difficult. 

Golden eyes blinked open at him. The man raised his head to look at him and burst out laughing, dropping his head back to the ground and wincing when it made contact. “You’d be a lot more intimidating if you weren’t dressed like that.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Zayn said, pulling his arms inside and turning off the fans, allowing the costume to deflate before reaching back out to unzip the costume and wrestling his way out of it. Once he was free of it and in only his jeans and vest, he knelt down next to the man. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

The man’s eyes blinked open again and he squinted at Zayn’s hand. “Are you flipping me off?”

Zayn let out a sigh of relief as he rolled his eyes. Bad humour was a good sign and he’d also gotten a good whiff of the man’s breath and realized just why he was dumb enough to dive facefirst into a pile of leaves. “How much have you had to drink tonight?”

“Are you a bobby?” the man looked panicked for a moment as he struggled to sit up and Zayn reached out to help him.

“No, a physician,” he responded. “My name is Zayn Malik and I live here.” 

He gestured over his shoulder towards the house. He looked at the man expectantly but instead of getting any kind of reciprocation on the introduction, the man grabbed a handful of leaves and threw them above his head, giggling as they fell down around him, one landing on top of his head. If Zayn weren’t so concerned about the man’s nose that was still bleeding, he’d have been endeared by his childlike behaviour. He might even have been tempted to join him to feel even half the glee this stranger was experiencing.

“Okay, little Mr. Leafboy,” he said, reaching out to grasp the man's hand and pulled him to his feet. “Let’s get you inside and into some light so I can take a look at that nose.”

“Why? It’s a dumb old nose,” he said, pouting out his lip but not fighting Zayn as he led him towards the house. 

The door opened as he reached the porch and his mum stood there with Rizu on her hip and a concerned look on her face. “Picking up strays again?” She stood back as Zayn led him into the house. “Good evening.”

“Ma’am,” the man said with a solemn nod and Zayn could see he was failing as anyone who struggled to appear sober in front of an adult always did.

“Please, call me Trisha,” she told him, holding out a hand which he took. “And I should call you?”

“Liam. Payne,” he responded, smiling a bit which was disconcerting considering there was still blood all over his face but at least the flow seemed to be slowing to a stop so there was a good chance it wasn’t broken.

“Well, Mr. Payne, let’s get you into the kitchen while my boy gets his first aid kit together,” she said, taking him by the arm and leading him through to the small table where they ate their meals.

“Who hurt you?” Zayn heard Rizu ask around the thumb in his mouth as he made his way up the stairs to get to the bathroom where he kept the first aid kit. He worried about his son who he tried to protect from anything bad in the world because he was a bigger worry wart than even Zayn was. He only hoped the fact that the man was a stranger would keep Rizu from becoming too invested in Liam’s well-being.

By the time he’d washed up and made his way back downstairs, Rizu was sitting in Liam’s lap and patting his face with a damp cloth while telling Liam all about his night of trick or treating. Zayn froze in the doorway and gaped at his mother who shrugged; his son never took to strangers like that, normally hiding behind the closest family member. Liam laughed at something Rizu said before hissing and wincing.

“I sorry, Mr. Liam,” Rizu said, holding the bloody cloth to his chest and looking up at Zayn in panic.

“Let’s get off Liam’s lap, now,” Zayn said, approaching and reaching for Rizu, who gripped Liam’s hand and shook his head. “Rizu.”

“No, Baba! Mr. Liam is scared of doctors. He needs me to hold his hand.” His knuckles were white where he gripped Liam’s hand so hard that it had to be hurting him. When he looked up at Liam, he nodded and shrugged.

“Okay, but you have to sit very still so I can look at his nose and see if we have to go to the hospital,” Zayn explained, taking a pair of gloves out of the first aid kit and slipping them on. Moving carefully, he put his fingers behind Liam’s ears and gently ran his thumbs along the sides of Liam’s nose. 

“Ouch,” Liam said without any real heat behind the words, almost like a reflex.

Zayn didn’t feel any shifting underneath his thumbs and the pressure didn’t cause any more bleeding or fluid to flow from Liam’s nose, so he was fairly certain it wasn’t broken. Pulling out a few alcohol wipes, he used them to clean the blood from around the nostrils that Rizu hadn’t gotten. Using a small flashlight, he looked up Liam’s nose and didn’t see any blockage. 

“Well, I’m fairly certain it’s not broken. There’s a little swelling but the bleeding has stopped,” Zayn explained, smiling when his mother handed over one of the soft ice packs they kept on hand in the freezer. He laughed out loud when he saw that it was the duck one they kept on hand for Rizu that was wrapped in soft terry cloth to give the face a crown. 

Lying it over the bridge of Liam’s nose, he took Rizu’s hands to hold it in place. “Be gentle,” he told him and Rizu nodded, his face serious as he told Liam not to move. Smiling, Zayn moved to clean up the mess and wash his hands again. His mother came to stand next to him, laying a hand on his shoulder.

“Rizu likes him.” she said, awe in her voice.

“I see that.” Zayn turned around to lean his hip on the counter so he could look at her and see Rizu out of the corner of his eye who was now singing softly in Urdu to a confused Liam. 

“He’s cute,” his mom continued and Zayn rolled his eyes. “I think he’s Karen from my book club’s son. She said he moved home for work and is looking for a place to live.” She glanced up to the ceiling where the small suite she’d been staying in during her visit was located. 

“Mum, you can’t just…” He trailed off at the stern look on her face that softened into a smile when Zayn’s shoulders drooped and he returned to the table, checking on Rizu and his care for Liam.

“So, is your mum’s name Karen?” Zayn asked as he sat down.

Liam started to nod but stopped when Rizu told him to hold still around a yawn. “Yes.” He reached up to take the ice pack from the boy as Trisha took him, shushing his objections and carried him upstairs to his room. “Good night, Rizu,” Liam called out and ‘caught’ the kiss Rizu blew at him with a smile.

Once they were alone again, they stared at each other across the table, the silence stretching until Liam rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and started to get to his feet. “Thanks for taking care of my nose. I’m sorry about the leaves. I could go and rake them back up.” He actually looked remorseful, his big brown eyes reminding Zayn of the dog he’d been thinking about adopting from the shelter but afraid he wouldn't have time to take care of due to his crazy hours at the hospital.

“Not drunk in the middle of the night, you won’t. We don’t need you to suffer any more injuries. What possessed you to faceplant into a pile of leaves?” Zayn asked, chuckling as he remembered the sight of a grown man acting like his five-year-old son.

Liam shrugged before his lips twisted into a wry smile and he sang, “ Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.”

Zayn burst out laughing, shaking his head. “At least you have good taste in music.” Crossing to the fridge he pulled out the pitcher of purified water he kept in there and held it out to Liam who nodded. “Normally, I’d offer you a beer but I think you’ve probably had enough for tonight.”

“For tonight and every night until the end of time,” Liam responded, taking the glass with an expression of gratitude before returning to the chair and taking a sip.

“So, why were you wandering the streets alone in your drunken state?” If Zayn was going to offer this complete stranger a spot in his home that he shared with his son, he needed to know more than his mom liked Liam’s mom.

“I’d gone to a party with some mates but they all hooked up and left me. I was supposed to be the designated driver, but when they all deserted me I started to drink, figuring I’d call an Addison Lee or something.” He took another sip of water and rubbed at his nose, wincing and dropping his hand quickly.

Zayn leaned forward in his chair to look but the movement didn’t seem to have caused any recurrence of bleeding so he took the ice pack that Liam was now playing with back and threw it towards the sink, relieved when it landed inside it with a soft thwap. “Did you get dropped off at the wrong place?”

“I lost my phone. I think my mate Andy took it when my ex-boyfriend texted,” Liam responded and Zayn noted that the handsome young man wasn’t entirely straight, ignoring the way that knowledge ran through his body like an electric wire. “So, I couldn’t call for a ride. I didn’t think the party was that far from my parents’ house but I think that was the alcohol’s logic.”

Zayn thought about where his mum lived and went to her book club and it was possible that Liam’s parents lived miles away from his neighborhood and he didn’t know how long Liam had been walking to arrive at his yard, so he asked. “Do you think we could walk back to your car?”

“Man, that blow to the nose sobered me up some but not enough to drive,” Liam said. “Can I just use your phone to call for a ride?”

“You could,” Zayn told him. “Or we could walk to your car and I’ll drive us both back here and you can sleep until your hangover on my sofa.”

“You don’t know me,” Liam said, eyes wide in surprise but his smile loose with relief.

“Our mums know each other,” Zayn countered. “Now, let’s get you another glass of water, some paracetamol and see if you can remember where your car is.”

“Dude, where’s my car,” Liam muttered and Zayn burst out laughing.

“You have terrible taste in movies.”

“You recognized it,” Liam argued, following Zayn outside. 

“It’s  _ literally  _ the title of the movie. That’s that only thing I know about it.”

Liam studied him in the light of the porch, eyes narrowed. “Liar.”

Zayn smirked. “You’ll never know.”

They walked pretty much in silence for a while but eventually fell into easy conversation about comics and music. Liam started going on about how much he loved Halloween and Zayn teased him that his costume amounted to a shirt that said,  _ “This is my costume!” _ on it. “My mate threatened to burn my Batman costume if I wore it again and it was expensive. I couldn’t think of anything else I really wanted to be so…” He gestured to the shirt with a frown on his face. “Not all of us can be as cool as Dr. T-Rex.”

“Rizu picked it out. He’s currently obsessed with dinosaurs,” Zayn explained. “At least he likes learning about them, so I can’t complain too much. For example, did you know that Tyrannosaurus Rex comes from the Greek word for Tyrant Lizard?” They shared a laugh and continued walking, sharing stories about their favourite costumes growing up.

They’d been walking for almost an hour when Liam sighed and looked at Zayn with wide eyes. “We’re lost aren’t we?” Zayn teased, chuckling when Liam nodded and puffed out his lower lip. He’d realized pretty quickly they were going more-or-less in circles but he’d been having such a good time talking to Liam he hadn’t said anything; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such a relaxed night with someone he hadn’t known since birth. Now they were standing just a few streets away from Zayn’s house. There were a number of cars parked up and down the street but Liam had claimed that none of them were his.

Looking around, Zayn’s eyes were drawn to a bumper sticker on the back of an older model sedan. Shaking his head, he looked up at Liam thinking it couldn’t be that easy. “What kind of car do you drive?”

“An ancient sedan,” Liam muttered. “It was my mum’s and she practically gave it to me when I graduated Uni.”

Smirking, Zayn tapped Liam’s shoulder. “Let’s make a deal. If I can find your car in less than five minutes, you owe me dinner.”

“And if you don’t?” Liam asked, his teeth digging into his lower lip.

He was pretty confident he’d already found Liam’s car but he was curious, so he asked, “What would you want in the slim chance that I can’t deliver?”

“You owe me dinner. And a movie,” Liam said. “A proper date.” His face fell when Zayn didn’t say anything. “Shit, you’re married. Or not into blokes. You have a kid. I’m such an idiot. I-”

“Shut up, Leeyum,” Zayn told him softly and laying his fingers over Liam’s mouth, ignoring the way his tongue brushed the digits as it darted out to wet his lips. “I was married. I’m not now. I am into blokes and birds. I do have a kid, a wonderful kid whom I share very amicable custody of with his mother.” He stepped closer. “And you are most definitely  _ not _ an idiot. A bit daft when it comes to leaf piles, but not an idiot.” He held out his hand. “I find it, you owe me a proper date. I don’t find it, I owe you one. Deal?”

Liam grinned and grabbed Zayn’s hand firmly with the wrong hand and they ended up with their fingers tangled together as they turned to walk down the street in the direction Zayn tugged them. He stopped right next to a blue sedan and pointed to it. Liam’s mouth fell open and he stared at him. “Are you magic?”

“Nope,” Zayn said, squatting down to point at the bumper sticker he’d noticed, smiling as he read over the words:  _ My other car is the Batmobile. _ “Lucky guess.”

Liam squatted down next to him, losing his balance slightly and knocking Zayn to the ground before tumbling down on top of him. They looked at each other still laughing as they attempted to get to their feet. Once they were standing, leaning against the boot of the car and holding their stomachs, still laughing, Zayn held a hand out.

“Gimme your keys.” Grinning, Liam reached into the pocket of his jeans, the smile fading quickly as he dug his hand into the other pocket. Eyes widening, he put both hands in his back pockets and looked up at Zayn with his mouth agape and face pale. “You’re kidding?”

Liam shook his head and looked like he was about to burst into tears. Sighing, Zayn reached for his hand and pulled him back towards his house. He’d been hesitant about offering Liam his spare room but now he knew he would have to because there was one thing he knew for sure: life with Liam would never be boring.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say 'hi' on tumblr. I'm 'josjournal' over there.


End file.
